Hello 2016!

Girls back to school with gusto and the decision that 2016 will be a New Years Resolution every day as soon as I am home from dropping them off.

Pressure.

By that I mean think carefully about ones day and how best to achieve something that benefits or is memorable to me.
I have never ever felt so unfit, unhealthy, unhappy, unstable mentally and physically and trying to tell myself that it's not as bad as all that and that these feelings will pass is becoming increasingly difficult as the months go by.
I ache.
I am so heavy.
It is beginning to affect my sleep, some nights my head spins with the worry of it all and I have to stand by the window and take deep breaths.

This is the last year I will feel like this.

So there you go, or there I go.

To start with the decorations went back into their boxes all wrapped in green paper I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.

I have even wrapped the decorations in themes, I don't know what this means for next year but it means something.

After this post I am going to write a November note to myself, with reminders of what I have put in place to make the holiday season easier.

Tonight I made the Waitrose Detox Cauliflower Pizza
I had everything in to make it except artichokes, half a portobello mushroom would have to do instead.

This is their version

This is what mine looked like. Ha!

There was very little care in photographing the dish, I was at clearing away stage and my hands were mucky, I did what I could.

Maybe if I added a filter (food stylist) too it would look appetizing.

I tried to make cauliflower cheese over Christmas, I have never made it before, making a white sauce for anything terrifies me so I put off making it but continued to buy the same vegetable over and over again thinking a fresher cauliflower will make the job easier??
WTF.
So with more of it accumulating in the fridge drawer, I made fashionable gluten free pizza instead.

It's not that bad and I am not hungry at all an hour on from dinner.
I don't know what left overs will taste like tomorrow lunch time.

I think the remaining heads will be turned into cauliflower rice. The Deputy Head has mentioned this new thing to me, I might go for it in the week.
If I am honest I was enthusiastic until she also said you add herbs and spices to the mix which basically means running away from the task and I will just end up buying more cauliflower to avoid cooking the dish.

New Years Reso 1- Honesty however ridiculous it makes me look.

It's going to be a long year.

CM

Christmas and New Year 2015

Final post of the year.
Up to date.

Was on it this Christmas, presents bought and wrapped really early, but the execution of getting it in the right place was still right up to the wire. Might write myself a list of things to do and open it in November.
I also said no wrapping of gifts on Christmas Eve, but I think there were loads of tiny gifts that were done in the early hours of the wrong day.

G and I bought the girls a trampoline for their main gift from us, it was in the garden for most of the week and they didn't notice it. not even when they were asked to open their curtains. Daft as brushes.

The uncles came to stay for Christmas and they bought Gerbils with them.
Speedy and Lala they've been named. The girls are over the moon. I am surprisingly not keen.

They are looking after them wonderfully. I am amazed how much they shit. My Dyson can hardly keep up.

Here is me happy again.

P is so long. I need so much sleep this year.
The girls spend most of the holiday crafting bouncing and caring

We spend New Year at G's family home as the whole family can be there, fireworks on the Eve and Monopoly warfare on the Day.
This is us on one of our last dew days together before school starts again.
Resolutions are currently being considered, one of them will involve dealing with that chin of mine.

I love my family.
It's been a shocking year with it's lows I am pleased to close the door on 2015.
I am grateful for what I have and who I have in my life. I cannot believe how fast it can all pass along. This year I have found ways to enjoy the days one at a time and I shall carry that through to 2016.
If you are reading this then I know you are by my side and I love you.

Thank you
xx

CM

Happy 6th Birthday P.

One of the problems of being 6 before Christmas is that next year you will be 7 and next year is only round the corner.

We get the party out the way the week before the big day.
I couldn't have cocked a cake up more.

More presents!
Did someone buy her lipstick?

On P's birthday this year we are invited to a wedding, so it is a very good idea to start this birthday really early in the morning. Presents and breakfast and then we head off to the hotel where we will be staying.

It is a great day, the hotel is there to be explored and we know everyone so it is a chance for the girls to play and us to chat, hurrah!

For P as soon as that disco starts she is on it.

P finally flakes just after midnight.

 The following day we swing by the uncles who give her disco lights so she can carry the party on at home when ever she likes.

P now you are 6. You have been amazing this year, so sensitive and full of love. Thank you for your cuddles. I cannot wait to see you grow into 7.

much love mum xxxx

CM

Happy 9th Birthday T.

9!!!!!!

Normally I would get pictures from the year, but today it is photos from the celebration.
P makes extra special effort with a skull themed card and is rewarded with hugs.
Fortune telling fish from the IOM

P always buy T a pear for her birthday, this year she bought her a multi pack of FAB ice lollies too.

Fake glasses just what you want when you have beyond perfect vision.

The Mexican and the Lion Man gave slides for the microscope a real winner.

A big breakfast and cake is cooked for the whole family who come to visit and in the afternoon we go and paint pots.

So many presents!
It's a long day for G!

T, growing up so much. Daft as ever. Full of love just cannot get enough of you.
xxxx Mum xx

CM